On Sunday evenings I pull open my Full Focus Planner. I review my goals from the previous week and set new goals for the current week. Most weeks my “Big 3” are a version of these items:
Eat a Whole Food Plant Based Diet
Exercise
Business Goal
Each Sunday I review the previous week and I tend to be confronted with failure in one or two of the categories. As I write my review of the previous week I notice the many excuses lining the pages. It is curious, that I would fail weekly when I write my goals with the best of intentions.
I have to wonder, are excuses welling up inside me before the ink is dry? Am I questioning myself before I begin?
Last Sunday night while working on my planner for the following week I had a picture in my head. It was a silhouette with words scattered behind me on the ground:
Too busy
I deserve to ___
Bad weather
My (fill in the blank - knee, foot, hip…) hurts
Allergies
I am cooking for others, they won’t like the healthier version
I’m so tired
The conditions aren’t just right
And on and on…The words trailing off into the distance.
In front of me are my inner critic words:
lazy
unfocused
lack of control
lots of talk no walk
I can’t
I’m not healthy enough, smart enough, connected enough, extroverted enough, brave enough…
I recognize that the excuses are my inner critic and my fear all wrapped up into one. I may be planning my goals but have lost the confidence to even believe they are possible. Yes, one day, week, month, year it could happen so I should start over every day, week, month, year.
But, I have to wonder what would happen differently if I truly, deeply believed what I wrote in my planner.
There are many things that I have added to my life that stick and I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished. What if I went back and looked at all the things that I have done and removed the negative judgement on why I succeeded?
And yes, I said negative judgment with success.
Have you ever done something great and then striped yourself down from being proud of your accomplishment?
An example for me would be finishing any half marathon but I’ll use my first and last for the examples. I finished the Rock n’ Roll half marathon in Arizona. I cried when I crossed the finish line, because I never in my wildest dreams thought I could actually complete a half marathon. I had a real moment of pride in my accomplishment. But shortly after I allowed my inner critic to begin its barrage of comments.
You looked silly,
You walked and ran it’s not the same as running all 13.1 miles
Much older people than you were passing you
Did you look at the finish line photo, you are so heavy!
My last half marathon was 10 years and 2 months later in Florida. And I said all the same things to myself and included: you trained for a year and still you wound up hurting yourself and have an ice pack on your knee.
What would have been wonderful is if I said:
WOW! you completed 13.1 miles and you finished by combining running and walking.
You hurt your knee but kept going.
You trained hard and have a healthier heart because of your hard work.
If you can related maybe it’s time to change the negative dialogue and connect to the positive. One of my daily reminders in my Full Focus Planner is: Did I live my Why today?
If you are not familiar with Living Your Why, it is the brilliant brainstormed idea of Simon Sinek author of “Finding your Why”. The idea is that we are all designed to have a Why. It is our purpose in life. Why we do anything we do professionally or personally. It has taken me a while to figure out what my Why is, but recently I was able to bring it to life. It is:
To be a guide in the transformation(change) and rejuvenation(vitality) of myself and others so that, we can connect to our truest mental, physical, spiritual versions of ourselves and live unencumbered(free), meaningful, healthy lives.
In order to change, be vital and free we need to release our negative thoughts and be more vulnerable to expressing when we are proud of ourselves.
If we think of life as a half marathon or even a marathon (if you’re that brave and physically fit to run 26.2 miles I applaud you!). Training takes small steps one in front of the other. It takes building up for the next challenging hill in front of you. And it is recognizing that you have a whole lot of concrete behind you filled with your sweat and determination. Appreciate the hard work of where you’ve been and set your sights on who you are becoming.
Here’s my hope for you and I - we clear the trail of excuses behind us and free up the path in front of us to new beginnings, Let’s celebrate the wins and love who we are in the process. Before, During and After.
Wishing you Grace, Peace and Healthy Living,
Lorraine
